keinginan..

keinginan untuk pergi kepada nya setinggi pergi menjauhi nya

mgkin ini lah kehidupan

yang seorang manusia yang lemah seperti aku harus tempuhi

tapi benar

aku mahu hidup dalam gembira

aku mahu apa aku buat,dia suka, dan dia tak marah

aku mahu

tapi mungkin belom tiba masa nya lagi

tapi serius, aku mahu

i miss andie, so so much..

i wanna write something about andie..

but im emotionally unstable, and thinking bout her could make me cry..

and when ive started crying, ill be crying for hours..

yesterday,

i tried cleaning up andie’s things..

one by one, they come, flashing in front of my eyes..

andie kasturi

***

i saw her in her cage,

and i saw her sipping the water..

i saw her running around the living room,

meow-ing, so loudly, that i can still hear her..

and then, i saw her playing at the balcony..

where she poops on the floor..

and i sat there,

i started crying..i looked down, from my 4th floor balcony,

where i saw her lying on the ground..

breathless, scared, hurt…..dying..

***

i walk to my room, weeping..

and as i lay on my bed, i saw andie sleeping, beside me..

i still feel her presence, eventho she’s no longer here..

i pictured here in my arms, and the way i put her to sleep..

she could sleep for hours,

and i loved watching her sleep..

***

somehow..

i wish i had more time with her..

more time to love her..and let her know that i loved her..

but those 4days with her..

was the best 4days..

everyday, i was eager to go home,

i wanna see andie, i wonder what she’s doing..i wonder if andie is okay?

oh andiee..

i know, most ppl will never understand,

most ppl might laugh, or thinking its just a cat..

but to me..love is love..

and i loved andie, and losing her, like that, was the worst thing ever..

and it hurt me, it tores me to the ground, that i had just four days with her..

***

3.05pm, 9th January 2010 *rest in peace andie*

flash back..

i havent been writting here for a loonnnnnnngg time…

i guess i jus havent got the moods for it..

and w/out me realizing, its already 2010..

***

2009 flash back.

january 09

i started new year badly,

i lost  fren. i hurt a lot of ppl.

but i guess, every cloud has a silver lining, u lose something, u gain somethin else.

february 09

it was a crazy february for love birds.

i just go do what i wanted w/out thinking about the consequences.

march 09

i left him, for real, reap my heart out,

but i guess its already written, im sorry.

april 2009

i started loving bola.

may 2009

moved to the new apartments,

and went back HOME.

familyy and frenss <3

dated in msia

jun 2009

a lot happen.

things ive never expected in life, i got to admit,

jun was a month of suprise.

and my birthday, honey thank you for the special suprise!

july 2009

busy with trials

august 2009

MBBS professional exam

viva biochem

september 2009

Ramadhan, and Aidilfitri

met some new family members *wink2*

october 2009

back in India.

starting anew.

planning to get married, (im no saying now okay)

got to stabilize my studies.

november 2009

ooty together )

time passes, i tried,

but i failed one of the test.

i hate myself.

disember 2009

manipal, food festival.

holiday in Goa, that was lovely )

got back, finished the last weekend, wrecked.

***

1st of January,

i’m lost.

and help me get back on my feet.

***

now im fasten-ing my seatbelt,

im gona have to drive on hyperspeed to catch up.

im sorry i wasted a lot of time,

its time for to wake up,

ive been sleeping way too long.

***

honey,

i have so much to say,

but lets keep everythg blakang tabir.

thank you, for walking 2009 with me,

and i love every moment of it.

u made me me, i love u :’)

baby melor :)

 

 

honey bee

I am a honey bee
Shown out from the colony
And they won’t let me in
So I left the hive
They took away all my stripes
And broke off both my wings
So I’ll find another tree
And make the wind my friend
I’ll just sing with the birds
They’ll tell me secrets off the mark

But my other honey bee
Stuck where he doesn’t wanna be
Oh my darling honey bee
I’ll come save you
Even if it means I’ll have to face the queen

So I’ll come prepared
My new friends say they would help me
Get my loved one back
They say it isn’t right
The bees have control of your mind
But I choose not to believe that
So we’ll meet in the darkness of the night
And I’ll promise I will be there on time
We’ll be guided by my new friends the butterflies
Bring us back to our own little hive

Oh my other honey bee
No longer stuck where he doesn’t wanna be
Oh my darling honey bee
I have saved you
And now that you’re with me
We can make our own honey

__.____.____.____.____.____.____.____.____.____.____.____.____.____.____.__

can u see what i see in this song?

can u see the message im trying to convey?

put ur shoes in mine,

read between the lines, then only u may understand what ive been trying to say..

p/s: lagu mcm nie pown boleh masuk kategori nasyid, tahu?

currently..

current song : honey bee by zee avi

current interest : food

current hobby : eating

current sweetheart : BABY MELOR!!

current moodswings : undefined

slmt pagi msia..dan india..dan ottawa..dan dunia..

semoga hari ini, lebih baek dari hari smlm, kan?

semoga kte sentiasa bsm Dia, kan?

 

 

rindu zaman taiping :’(

im not talking, not bcoz i dnt want to, its bcoz i cant.

i have thgs i have to say..

but i cant, because i will just hurt ppl..

the moment i start the talking, they’ll flipped..

they have their opinions, and i do respect them,

and i have my own too, but mine is unheard..

u noe, i dont just tell stuff without meaning,

when i ask sumthg, it’s because i do have a strong reason for it..

so strong that i know u will never understand..

now i am torn apart,

torn inside,

and i noe, only He knows best..

and now, when i am forced on my knees, it’s the best tyme to pray, isnt it?

and He knows, i cant be both, i cant be good, and bad at the same tyme..

and He knows, how much my heart is crying,

how much my soul is tortured..

and here i am,

at the crossroads, between good and bad.

i wanna be good, i do,

and im even crying and praying that ill be good.

 

kuat mkn =.=’!

kenape sjk 3 hari nie kuat mkn sgt eh?

seminggu yg lepas tak mkn langsung pown tak pe?

tak kan nie mech nak compensate kowt?

buhahahaa..

sye tanak mokmok

*ckp mcm skrg tidak je..hoho*

he wanted to hit me?=.=’!

soo..

terbalik in english is?????